Sunday, August 9, 2009

It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White

So now you've decided to snus. You've chosen to go with snus portions because I said they were cooler, you've picked out the nicotine content that's right for you, and now you are faced with yet another snus dilemma. White portion or regular? What the sam-hill-fuck is a white portion anyway? And to add to the confusion, now you can get black portions. Your eyes are starting to cross, and you're thinking seriously of just going back to the Green Apple Pouches and learning to love your own spit.

Don't let The Man get you down, snuser. I'm here to help.

In the world of Swedish snus, white and black are the same thing. White portions were developed because some people like their snus really moist and kinda wet, and some people prefer never ever to swallow tobacco juice. Snus were developed to allow the snuser to "gut it", or swallow. Nice girls spit, snus girls swallow, or something like that. But there is still a little bit of juiciness to most regular portion snus.

White portions are made drier (bit more salt, I think) and much less likely to produce the need to either spit or swallow, and the pouch fabric is more absorbent. And black portions are just like white portions. Just the color of the outside is different. Kudos to Grovsnus Black and General Onyx for snusal equality. The black pouches are cool looking, and very soft and satiny feeling in the mouth. Shuttup, I know what you're thinking.

Personally, I find that some white portions are juicier than some regulars, and that I occasionally swallow with all varieties. Really dry white portions I like are Skruf White and Catch White Eucalyptus, but I have to say that my Thunder Strong Originals are as dry as any white portion I've tried. Oden's are really dry too, but even stronger than Thunder.

Right now I'm playing with a sampler I got from Getsnus.com, one of my go-to snus order sites. It came with three cans each of Grovsnus Black and General Onyx.

This morning I got all crazy and thought, well, hey, i'll just pop in one of each. 11 mg nicotine each, it'll just be like having 1 1/4 Thunders, right? Wrong.

The Grov and Onyx taste fabulous together - very rich, almost lemon-pepper-bergamot-vanilla-lavender, which sounds gross but tastes really nice. The pouches are smoooth. And about ten minutes in, I felt the room start to spin. I waited out the buzz, which was very pleasant if almost a bit much, got up and started doing some stuff around the house. Thirty minutes in, they totally juiced up on me. That's usually a good clue it's time to ditch the snus, so I did, and I'm still riding the black duo an hour later.

Loose Snus vs. Portion Snus, and Size Matters

I tried loose tobacco once. Ew.

I like my snus in portions - that is, in the little pouches. They're made of teabag-type material and they dispense pretty much the same dose every time. You don't have to worry about getting tiny tobacco particles in your teeth (sexy!) or accidentally swallowing the leaves themselves. Bonus, they're super easy to discreetly remove and throw away when you're finished.

So for me, portions it is. Even the most testosterone-laden, manly snuser knows that portions are the best way to go when you're snusing in public, and for snus girls like me, they're the only way to go.

Now, when ordering your portion snus, you'll be faced with a number of options. What size? Mini, regular, strong, maxi... um, it's starting to sound like the feminine hygiene aisle up in here.

First we'll start with size.

Minis are teensy and good for mega-discreet snusing, but are low dose (about 4 mg). Minis are perfect for beginning snusers, and I like to keep a can of General Mint minis on hand in case I have to hang out with my parents or feel the need to snus in, say, church. (Yeah, I said it.) If you're in high school at the ripe age of 18, or college, minis are nice for class. They're dime sized or smaller. I use one or two at a time, tucked under my upper lip just to the right and left of my front teeth.

Regular portions are, um, regular. Moderate nicotine content (usually 8 mg per pouch). They're about penny sized, definitely smaller than a nickel. I place mine either directly above my front teeth or to one side, but I've been known to pop one in my lower lip.

Strong portions are regular sized, but, duh, stronger. These are my go-to snus. Ranging from 11 mg to 17 mg per pouch, you only need one to get the job done. When changing up brands or snusing first thing in the morning, I often get that tingly buzz with the stronger doses. But please, for the love of your stomach, do NOT start strong if you haven't smoked, chewed, or snused for awhile. Work up to these, or you will get dizzy, hurl, and be all pissed at me. Even veteran chewers of Cope or Skoal often find that Swedish strong snus pack a wallop in a tiny package.

Maxi portions? I've never tried them. The way I see it, if I want a huge lump of stuff in my mouth, I don't need to order it from Sweden - my local Kum&Go sells Kodiak for two bucks a can.

Saturday, August 8, 2009

I'm a Snus Girl

Hiya to the accidental tourist who surfed in here purely by mistake. I'm Sophie, and I'm a snus girl.

What the hell, you ask, is a snus girl? Um, it's a girl who doesn't love smoke and really doesn't love to spit, and especially isn't a fan of cancer, but who likes some nicotine once in awhile. Or once an hour. Snus girls are hot in a good way - most of the time, if I've got a snus under my lip, you won't know. I can smile, talk, go hours without eating, and I'm hella-cute if I say so myself. And I do.

Snus girls are legal, because you have to be 18 to buy them.

So what the hell is a snus, then?

It's a little pouch of tobacco about the size of a penny that slides between your lip and your gum. Yes, Jim Bob, it does sound a lot like a Skoal Bandit or Skoal pouch - but there are two crucial differences. One, snus means never having to spit. And two, snus means that my chances of getting oral cancer are significantly less. I don't have bloody gums or sores in my mouth. And yes, my breath smells just fine. But because I'm getting my nicotine jones handled, I'm way less of a bitch than I would be without them, and I'm not eating the house. Bonus!

Trouble is, snus aren't readily available where I live. And when I can get them, they suck. Those Camel things? For babies. Seriously, toddlers could not get a nic buzz off a 4 mg dose. Even Bandits have 8. The stuff I snus has between 11 and 17 grams of nicotine per pouch - as much or more than Copenhagen or Skoal pouches. Yeah, I said it. ;)

I get mine here:

They're shipped straight from Sweden, but they arrive within a week of the time I order, shipping is about as cheap as domestic postage in the US, and they offer great sampler packs if you're not sure what you like.

I like Thunder Frosted Snus, but I also enjoy Oden's Cinnamon, Grovsnus Black, General Onyx, and other strong brands. If you're just beginning to snus, you may want to try some flavors in mild strengths, like General Wintergreen or even the tiny mini snus, which are great for when you have to go shopping with your mom and don't want to explain what that is in your mouth.

Heh.

Anyway, that's me. This blog will have lots of entries about me, about snus, about the brands and flavors I try and review for your reading pleasure or annoyance, and whatever else I decide to put here. Snus on!